Tea/Tae

They can put men on the moon (and perhaps on the sun), topple foreign governments, wage war on drugs, poverty, hippies, Asian carp and communism but one thing Americans cannot do is bring together a cup, some boiling water, a tea bag, milk and sugar and yield a beverage that the civilized world knows as tea.

The problems with tea purchased at coffee shops and other commercial premises in America:
• There is too much choice of tea.
• Water is not hot enough.
• The cup is often a glass and not a cup.
• The cup (or glass) is too full of water to leave enough room for milk.
• There is nowhere to pour off the excess lukewarm water to replace with milk.
• Milk is often not available and a disgusting liquid known as half and half (half horse piss, half goat milk) must be used instead.
• Beverage volume exceeds average human bowel volume by a factor of at least 3X.

Get your act together America. You can do better. I suggest starting with the choice issue. It can be quickly addressed by gathering up all the tea in the country, incinerating it and then only allowing the sale and distribution of two “types” of tea; Lyon’s or Barry’s. Choose your brand wisely and stick to it. It will define you as a person.