Breakfast

Breakfast is something I have only indulged in since I began working full time. Before that were the college and school years. In those days the morning meal consisted of whatever nutrients I could extract from toothpaste, a few cigarettes and maybe a bar of chocolate, if I was good.

Cereal is what God intended humans to eat in the wee hours. I am sure of this. While working at Nova Science, in Ireland, I was introduced to a brand of cereal whose recipe could only have been concocted by Him. We’re talking about Kellogg’s Just Right… “A sumptuous blend of just the right amount of four natural grains, crunchy nuts and succulent fruit.” I recall one morning in the canteen sitting across from someone slurping up a bowl of Just Right and thought I’d try my hand at a few mouthfuls. Immediate satisfaction was exhibited by making an over joyous horse type sound.

Fast forward to present day life here in America. I’ve searched high and low in countless supermarkets spanning three states. It’s a personal crusade whenever I happen to be in a new part of the country. Never have I once seen the stuff. “Kellogg’s Just Right”, I’ll say to an employee. “Do you have it?” The reply always sounds initially positive. “Oh yeah, I remember that stuff… no, sorry, we don’t sell that anymore.”

In this country you can get everything you don’t need. There used to be a game I’d play. I make up completely absurd products/services and bounce them off Martha, just to test how consumer friendly America really is. 24 hour golf club shops, restaurants dedicated to the provision of one niche food only: pancakes, drive through banks. They all exist.

A shrewd and loyal friend wanting to shed the hassle and expense of a wedding present for the happy couple could always have a few 750g boxes of said cereal shipped over. No pressure.