UC

“United Crushers”, “Urban Celebrities”, “Union Crew” and “Ultra Crack”. You figure it out. Involves Minneapolis graffiti.

The Golfer

I saw him again tonight. Who did you see? Why, the mysterious weirdo that drives a golf cart at break neck speeds around the neighborhood of course. When the sun goes down this shadowy figure rides like the wind. It’s the second time we’ve crossed paths. I’ve been alone each time. The lack of an alibi or fellow witness is irritating. This fucker exists! His motives are most bewildering. Does he fight crime in this stealth machine? It is the perfect vehicle for such work. It has no lights (of course it doesn’t, who plays golf in the dark for God’s sake?), so appearing as if from nowhere is quite easily accomplished. It is silent because it’s powered by an electric motor, so creeping up on people, like me, is bread and butter stuff.

Perhaps crime fighting is not his game. My perfectly ordinary obsession with Batman (LINK) time and again makes me think that anyone who innocently takes a walk or rides their bike during random hours of darkness is on a mission to clean up this urban death maze.

The Golfer is up to something and this man won’t rest until he finds out what.

Acting the maggot

More photos (LINK) of young Elise. She's going to visit her granny this weekend in Wisconsin. Lucky girl. Her folks are going too.

It's such a great time of year to visit The Dairy State. Perfect temperature, no mosquitoes, plenty of outdoor beer drinking, perhaps a stumble through the woods (LINK), possibly a canoe (LINK) trip too, maybe even a big camp fire (LINK) on Fran's land... if I play my cards right.

Straying slightly off the point, here's a little known fact: Martha can count cards. Never take her on in any game of skill. Quite humiliating. And don't get me started on Scrabble. Crushing defeat after crushing defeat. All hail Scrablor!